How To Prank The Ultimate Prankster
by AllThingsAnime123
Summary: Finale to 'Always Remember Me' and 'Never Forget You'. Sam tries to solve their latest case, Dean and Gabriel are at each other's throats with increasingly inventive pranks, and Castiel tries to play mediator. Just sounds like a normal day in what the Winchester boys call life.. Established Destiel and Sabriel. Reviews will be met with interactive hugs and cookies :)


**Author's Note:** Okay, this is kind of a round-off to 'Always Remember Me' and 'Never Forgot You' requested by a couple of reviewers ^^ But it's kind of down to StardustFromThePlanetGallifr ey that I wrote this in the first place, as she gave me the idea xD And also wanna thank Shan [[TheMisfitToy - If you're into Hobbit fanfiction, check her out, trust me xD]] for giving me the idea for Castiel's prank. Seriously, I was coming up with nada.. It's not essential for you to have read the other fics before this, but it'd help if you did or you won't get a couple of the references xP

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own any of the characters used.

* * *

When Gabriel threatened him with a full-out, no-holding-back prank war, Dean really should have been more cautious. But then a week passed and they had started working a new case without any sort of retaliation from the archangel, so he allowed himself to forget about the whole thing. And really, he should have known better by then. Since when did Gabriel just let something go? But Dean had well and truly fallen for the archangel's sleeper cell tactic, and as such was not expecting the first strike when it came.

It started out innocently enough. He and Sam had just left their motel for a day of research, but Dean, who had been up most of the night with Castiel, wasn't fully awake. If anyone asked, he would insist it was down to that fact that he didn't notice something was wrong until it was too late. But as Sam rightfully pointed out later on, Dean _should_ have felt the chili powder on his fingers after opening the Impala door. And really, he should have had more sense than to rub his eyes almost immediately afterwards.

It was excruciating; it felt like his eyeballs were on fire. His sudden yell of pain made Sam jump out of his skin and demand to know what was wrong, but all Dean could force out was how Gabriel was dead meat, archangel or not. Sam had quickly put two and two together, and called Castiel before any permanent damage could be done to his brother's eyesight. That evening back at the motel, Dean marched right up to the rather smug-looking archangel and announced that it was officially _on_. Gabriel had only grinned while Sam rolled his eyes at the two of them.

Dean retaliated in the only way he could see fit not an hour later. He waited until Sam had left to fetch food before sneaking next door and picked the lock. He then gathered all that he could find of Gabriel's sugar stash, driving to the closest deserted field he found, and used the various candies as target practice with his shotgun. It was extremely satisfying, watching the brightly coloured sweets exploding into a messy shower. Even more so was the look on Gabriel's expression when he'd gone to grab a lollipop, realised everything was missing and Dean tipped a pocketful of red and white fragments onto the table.

After that, things took a rather rapid downwards spiral towards total anarchy.

The next morning Dean stepped into the shower perfectly normally, and emerged with his skin twinkling like fairy lights every time he stood in direct sunlight. Sam, bastard that he was, practically cracked a rib trying not to laugh when they stepped outside, but didn't mention Dean's new skin tone. In fact, the older Winchester only noticed it when an awed teenage girl approached in the diner as they were eating, and asked how he had managed to get his skin to 'sparkle like Edward Cullen'. It took two days for the damn thing to wear off, and Dean flatly refused to leave the motel until it had done so while having to endure the sounds of both Sam and Gabriel laughing like hyenas through the wall.

Dean brought the score back to even the evening after he was finally free of the glittering skin spell. He was just leaving Sam's motel room when he noticed his brother sliding a bowl of Gabriel's chocolate into the kitchenette's crappy little microwave, presumably for when the archangel arrived. Dean waited until Sam had moved away again, before turning the dial up as high as it would go and then exiting the scene. Sam was hammering on Dean's door a few minutes later, screaming that not only was Gabriel's chocolate well and truly _nuked_, but the microwave had practically exploded and he was going to have to pay for damages.

"Shouldn't have laughed at the douchebag vampire treatment he gave me, then." Dean had replied through the locked door with a shrug. "You can fork out for whatever that's gonna cost you. Payback's a bitch."

Gabriel's next attack came a day later when both Winchesters and their angels had arrived back at the motel complex after a day of research at the library. Dean had opened his door to find a _full-grown Bengal tiger_ prowling up and down his cramped room. For a moment, both he and the beast just stared at one another; amber burning into green. Then, with a shriek of '_JESUS FUCKING CHRIST_!', he'd slammed it shut again just as the animal let out an ear-splitting roar that seemed to shake the door Dean was currently leant against.

"Whaat?" Gabriel asked innocently when Dean turned his acidic glare on him. "I thought you _liked_ ickle kitties!" And he patted Castiel on the shoulder before following a stunned Sam into their tiger-free room.

It took Castiel next-to-no time to escort the confused, very angry animal back to wherever it had come from, and when he returned it was to find Dean examining the danger it had done with an angry frown on his face. The wallpaper had been ripped from the walls and lay in shreds all around, some of the carpet was torn up, the television had been upended and lay in smoking ruins in the corner, and the sofa was spilling its stuffing onto the floor.

Although he disliked using his Grace for such menial tasks, Castiel nonetheless helped Dean to fix everything that had been broken, and then lay down next to him on the remarkably unscathed bed while the newly repaired TV blared on in the background.

"I swear, Cas, he's trying to kill me."

Castiel, who hadn't been expecting Dean to talk, remained silent for a moment. "I do not believe that is his intention."

"You're kidding, right? He tried to _blind_ me, and now he's set a tiger on me. If that's not attempted murder, I dunno what is."

"You know from your past dealings with Gabriel that if he intended to harm you, he would do so." Castiel paused. "But I assure you Dean, that while I am around, he will bring you to no genuine harm."

They lay in silence after that, and eventually shifted into a more comfortable position. Castiel scooted over so that they were practically joined at the side, his head resting in the crook of Dean's neck while the hunter's arm curled around the angel's shoulders. Almost subconsciously, his fingers began to ghost over the spot between Castiel's shoulder blades, right where the white splashes of fur had been in his kitten form.

It was a habit Dean had picked up soon after the whole kitten incident, and Castiel really seemed to enjoy it, just as he had as a cat. On more than one occasion, Dean had even heard the angel making noises deep in his throat, almost like he was purring. Castiel didn't seem to notice he was doing it, though, and Dean found it far too endearing to point it out just in case the angel stopped. He fell asleep like that, with his hand still pressed gently against the spot on Castiel's back. And even though he had no need for rest, Castiel remained relaxed and pliable in the hunter's arms, watching Dean and listening to his slow, deep breathing. He'd do anything within his power to protect Dean, even from his own brother. It was probably because of this desire that he stepped into the prank war the next day.

Dean responded to the tiger incident by scooping out the cream filling of a doughnut pack and replacing it with mayonnaise, then leaving the box in Sam's motel room unguarded in a place that Gabriel surely wouldn't miss. Both hunters had returned later to find the archangel with a very dark scowl on his face, who reliably informed Dean that it was just short of sinning to defile such a delicious treat in that way.

Sam had then realised the documents he and Dean had gathered from the coroner were missing, so he doubled back to the Impala to fetch them. He couldn't have been gone more than a few seconds, but when he returned, it was to discover Gabriel sitting alone at the table, his feet propped up on its smooth surface, a far-too relaxed expression on his face. Compared to how pissy he had been looking not two minutes ago and the sudden absence of his older brother, Sam's suspicion was automatically piqued. But no matter how many times he asked or what threats he used, Gabriel only protested his innocence. A beat after Sam had slapped the folder onto the table by the archangel's feet and demanded for the seventh time to know what he had done to Dean, there was the sudden noise of flapping wings from just behind the hunter.

He whirled around to be greeted with a bizarre sight. Castiel stood in the kitchenette, Dean's arm slung around his shoulders. It looked as if the angel's grip on this arm and the other locked around Dean's hip were the only things keeping his brother upright. The hunter was almost completely slumped against his angel, his entire face a ghostly, sickly white, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing, although no noise escaped. Castiel looked downright _murderous_. He glared viciously at Gabriel from across the room, his blue eyes blazing with animalistic fury, mouth curled into an incensed snarl his expressionless face didn't normally take.

Dread pooling in his gut at the terrified look on Dean's face and the fact that Castiel looked ready to openly go for Gabriel's throat, Sam hesitantly turned to the archangel. Gabriel hadn't moved a muscle, other than to beam across at the new arrivals. "Gabe.. What the heck..?"

"Hey, Deano knew what he was getting into when he started this whole war with me." Gabriel replied cheerfully. "Stop being so dramatic. It could have been much worse."

"_Worse_?" Dean croaked in disbelief.

Hearing Dean speak like that seemed to strengthen a resolve within Sam, and he stepped into Gabriel's eye-line. Leaning over the table to give the archangel his best _I-am-so-not-fucking-around-here_ bitchface, he asked sternly, "Gabriel, what did you do?"

The archangel rolled his eyes and frowned, but answered. "I stuck him on a plane. That happened to be experiencing extreme turbulence."

Sam opened his mouth to rant the mother of all rants at _that_, but he was interrupted by Castiel.

"You have taken this to extremes, brother." The angel was spitting, and Sam was instantly reminded of the hissing, flailing tangle of fur and claws that he had become recently. "You have taken advantage over the fact that Dean is at a distinct disadvantage, and you have exploited that." He ignored Dean's weak grumble of protest, and continued. "Therefore you have left me with no choice. I will henceforth help Dean." He said this last part in a voice so low and dangerous; it sent a cold chill down Sam's spine. Then, with his words still ringing in the air, Castiel and Dean vanished.

Gabriel huffed a laugh at the table, clearly unfazed by his brother's threat. "Cassie getting involved in a prank war with absolutely no experience and a limited understanding of just what a prank even _is_? Forgive me brother, but I find myself distinctly unafraid."

And really, Sam had to agree with him on that one.

* * *

Gabriel had had to sit through one of Sam's _long_ lectures afterwards about how he'd overstepped the mark and that he'd taken it too far, yadda, yadda, yadda. But like Gabriel had told Sam straight after he'd _finally_ finished speaking, if Dean couldn't handle playing with the big boys, he should take what remained of his dignity and get off the playground. Sam had then snapped at him to just back off on the whole pranking thing for a while, and had promptly stormed out, actually slamming the door behind him. This, Gabriel supposed, was the main reason he zapped himself into Dean's motel room early the next morning.

If there was one thing he hated above all else, it was being told what to do, especially when the order he'd been given was unjustified on so many levels. It wasn't as if Dean was entirely innocent in the pranks he had been pulling on Gabriel. Okay, fair enough, Dean hadn't forced him to endure his biggest fear. And yeah, so Dean couldn't do half the things Gabriel could, what with the lack of angel powers and all. But the point was, the elder Winchester had pulled pranks that had caused the archangel discomfort and annoyance; wasn't that the point of a prank war?

So it was a natural reflex for Gabriel to do the exact opposite of what Sam had ordered of him. Besides, it wasn't like Dean wasn't going to come back with something else or admit defeat; he was _way_ too stubborn for that. And hey, Gabriel had _some_ sense of fair play. He'd wait until Dean retaliated before springing his next prank. He was just getting some ideas from the elder Winchester's room while they were out getting food.

He'd just appeared next to Dean's bed when sudden movement across the room caught his eye.

Castiel was straightening up even more rigidly than normal, hastily trying to shove something behind his back. As if that wasn't enough, the cagey expression on his face practically screamed that he was trying and failing miserably at hiding something.

"Whatcha got there, bro?" Gabriel asked cheerfully, crossing his arms over his chest and bouncing on the balls of his toes. Might as well have as much fun with this as possible, he reasoned.

"It.. It is.." Castiel began in a flustered tone, before he composed himself somewhat. "It is no concern of yours, Gabriel."

"Oh? See, I seem to remember a little something you said to me just last night. Something about you helping Deano fight off the nasty archangel? I believe that gives me cause for concern." He replied, his grin growing even wider.

Castiel shifted away a little, heading towards the kitchenette, but the movement dislodged whatever it was behind his back. There was a rustling noise, before something draped in a brightly coloured wrapper fell to the motel carpet. Gabriel merely looked from the lollipop to Castiel who was making no efforts to pick the sweet up, smiling and shaking his head. The angel had clearly taken a leaf out of Dean's book, and believed the way to truly get to him was through his candy stash. He took a step closer, which Castiel took back, shoving what Gabriel now recognised as Dean's duffel bag further behind him.

Gabriel snickered as he continued to approach his brother slowly. "You've sure got a lot to learn if you think taking my stuff is going to bother me, Kiddo." As he spoke, the door opened behind him and both Winchesters walked in.

"What the _fuck_ are _you_ doing in my room?" Dean snapped immediately, slamming the door closed behind him.

"Gabriel, I _told_ you to back off!" Sam hissed angrily, directing the mother of all bitchfaces towards the archangel.

"I wasn't doing anything!" Gabriel protested, jabbing an accusing finger in Castiel's direction. "_He's_ the one that's stealing from me!" Turning on the spot, he continued towards the other angel, his hand extended. "Give me the bag."

But Castiel continued to draw back. He was now pressed against the far wall of the kitchenette, Dean's duffel on the floor behind his heels. "I believed my plan would work. I spent the evening researching the topic for basic ideas, as I trusted you would be so over-confident in your own abilities and overlook simplicities in favour of far more elaborate schemes."

"It's commendable how instantly you leap to Deano's defence, Cassie, really." Gabriel had now crossed into the same room, still with his hand aloft. Sam and Dean had followed, but chose to remain at a slight distance, just in case. "Now give it."

"As you wish, brother." Castiel replied with a slight nod of his head.

But rather than hand Gabriel back the duffel full of his candies, the corners of Castiel's lips twitched upwards in a small smile, and he snapped his fingers. Gabriel blinked and opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the chance. The next moment, he was gasping and spluttering as several buckets' worth of thick, black, pungent tar splattered over him, completely covering his entire vessel. He barely had a second to recover from this before Castiel was snapping his fingers again, and the same amount of vivid pink feathers were dumped on top, making Gabriel look like a giant, fuchsia-coloured rooster.

There were several minutes of utterly stunned silence, broken only by the wet squelching and rustling Gabriel's body made as he awkwardly moved his now much heavier limbs. Then, with a very unceremonious snort, Dean burst out laughing. Castiel peered out from behind his dumbfounded brother to see Dean bending double, physically holding the doorframe to the kitchenette to keep himself somewhat upright. Even Sam had to cover his mouth to hide a smirk.

"Like I said," Dean finally managed to say as he straightened up. "Don't mess with the nerd angels."

* * *

Gabriel vanished soon after and returned an hour later, completely tar and feather free. Sam was still in Dean's room, his laptop set open at the table in front of him, tapping away furiously through various internet browsers for the grimy details on their latest case. Dean was on his bed, Castiel beside him, where they were _supposed_ to be helping Sam sift through the research by going through John Winchester's journal. As it was though, all Sam could hear was soft muttering between the two of them with the occasional huff of laughter from Dean, telling Sam they were discussing Castiel's prank on Gabriel.

"Okay Cassie, I admit, you got me good." The archangel announced as he appeared in a chair opposite Sam. "I guess this means we _are_ related after all."

From Dean's bed, Castiel fixed his brother with his head tilt. "Of course we are related, Gabriel."

The archangel sighed and slumped in his chair. Dean's duffel bag, still crammed full of his sweets, rested on the table just in front of him, so he reached out and plucked a chocolate bar. "Aaaand normal, boring Castiel returns. Welcome back, bro."

Castiel's eyes narrowed as Gabriel bit into the chocolate. The next moment he was spitting it out again, slamming the bar on the tabletop and swivelling in his chair to scowl at the bed. "Okay, what the fuck did you just do?"

"As I have stated to you before, as angels we have no necessity for sustenance. But, as you insist on continuing to do so, I believed it prudent to improve your diet somewhat. Those, brother, are vegetables." Castiel replied in an utterly deadpanned tone.

Beside him, Dean snorted with laughter again before winding his arm around Castiel's shoulders. "See Sam, this is why my angel is more awesome than yours can ever hope to be."

Sam supposed it could have been the lack of sleep he'd been suffering from recently with the case. Or maybe it was the crappy food. Or _maybe_ it was because he was working this entire damn case completely by himself while his brother and their angels went about their prank war. Whatever the specific reason was, although he was fairly certain it was the last, he lost it at Dean's comment.

"D'you know what, Dean? I don't give a crap. Know what I _do_ care about? This fucking _case_. But don't worry, you guys carry on behaving like petty fucking _kids_, and I'll be the only one behaving like a fucking _adult_!"

And with that, he snatched up his laptop and stomped from the room, slamming the door shut behind him with much more force than was strictly necessary. They even heard the bang of his own door a few moments later. Castiel froze in his seat, unsure of how to react. His confusion only worsened when he caught sight of Dean and Gabriel. They were both staring at one another from across the room, identical evil grins on their faces.

"Temporary truce?" Dean suggested, and Gabriel nodded. Castiel had to resist the urge to shake his head; this could only end in tears.

* * *

Not long after his sulky exit, Sam found all three of them standing on the doorstep of his room, looking guilty. And he should have known better than to trust them, he really should. But he was just so sick of feeling like he was working the case by himself – Dean was hardly focusing when they'd gone on research errands or interviews – that he accepted their offered help without any feelings of suspicion. With both Castiel and Gabriel's full attention, they made much faster progress and by the time evening fell, the troublesome shifter was fully taken care of.

That evening, Sam was finding it harder than usual to get to sleep. He had been so preoccupied in finishing the case off and then kicking back afterwards that he had forgotten to apologise to the angels and Dean for his angry outburst earlier. He supposed it was because of this that he couldn't relax enough to drop off; the least he could have done was take back what he'd called them. With a gentle sigh, he decided he should at least talk to Gabriel; the archangel was lying beside him after all, and it wasn't like he was asleep. He just lay there, zoned out and utterly blank until Sam awoke in the mornings.

"Hey Gabe, listen. I -" Sam began, preparing to roll onto his side to face the archangel properly. However, something completely halted the motion as he moved over onto his back, and the words died in his throat.

Because a fucking _clown_ was hovering inches above his face.

Its face was painted a horrible, unnatural stark white which only detailed the creases and lines in its cheeks and forehead. The red paint inked a creepy wide smile over its lips and up into its cheeks, although its mouth remained fixed in a frown. It was dressed in a typical outfit for a clown; all bright, vivid colours and everything several sizes too big, including the curly red wig sat on its head. It watched Sam with cold, unmerciful dark eyes, and as he continued to stare back, transfixed, it's real mouth began to widen into a chilling smile.

"_HOLY FUCK_!" Sam yelped shrilly, scrambling backwards and reaching out an arm to shake Gabriel awake. "GABRIEL, KILL IT! _KILL IT_!"

"Huh? You say something, Sammy?"

Sam wrenched his eyes away from the clown above him.. Only to come face to face with his angelic boyfriend wearing a fucking _clown_ _mask_. With a second, unmanly yelp, Sam shuffled frantically backwards so quickly he ended up falling right out of the bed with a thump that almost drowned out by Gabriel's roaring laughter. Almost.

* * *

The mood in the diner the next morning wasn't just frosty; it was sub-zero.

"Sleep well, Sammy?" Dean asked with an all-too bright smile, pushing a cup of coffee across the table to his brother.

Sam was hunkered down into the far corner of the booth, arms folded tightly over his chest, his jaw clenched and bitchfacing like an utter boss. He regarded the cup with a look of pure poison, and then slowly flicked that same gaze up to meet his brother's eye. His scowl only darkened even further when Dean picked up his own cup, still smiling. Beside Sam, Gabriel was tucking into a plate of honey-covered pancakes, wearing a grin that was the mirror image of Dean's.

"He didn't, actually Deano. Can't imagine _why_."

"Oh?" Dean asked, feigning surprise. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, it was the _weirdest_ thing you see, Deano. He tells _us_ we're behaving like children, and then goes and screams at a _nightmare_ he has." Gabriel shook his head, sniggering. "Honestly, he thought he saw a _clown_. And that _I_ was wearing a clown mask." He shook his head, spooning another mouthful of sweetened pancake into his mouth.

"You are both jackasses, and I hate you." Sam snarled.

At that moment, the spare seat beside Dean was suddenly taken by a very angry Castiel. Both Winchesters jumped out of their skins at the unexpected arrival, but Gabriel remained absolutely calm, meeting his younger brother's steely gaze. It was as Sam was relaxing back into his seat that noticed something rather odd. The angel had turned up the collar of his trench coat, and was deliberately holding it in place, covering everything from his chin downwards.

"I demand that you remove this at once, Gabriel." Castiel spat angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, gaze flitting from one angel to the other.

Not letting up his ferocious glare on Gabriel any, Castiel released the top folds of his trench coat, allowing it to flap open once more. Across the table, Sam was barely able to choke back a laugh at what he saw, and Dean's jaw dropped. Secured around Castiel's throat was a collar so shockingly pink, it would have made even the girliest teenager gawk. The obscene collar was decorated with an oversized, equally pink bow on the side and a metal disk in the shape of a heart reading Castiel's name dangled underneath.

"_Remove this at_ _once_." The angel growled.

"I dunno, Cassie. I think it suits you both nicely. And hey, Deano wanted to get you one! I just saved him the hassle." Gabriel paused to stab a piece of pancake with his fork before he continued in the same conversational tone. "Besides, if Deano's going to keep stroking you on your wing joint and you keep purring like that kitten, we might as well treat you like one."

At his words, both Dean and Castiel both went the same shade of red as a stop sign, made even worse when Sam started sniggering behind his hand. Just as Dean opened his mouth to say something – presumably to deny he ever did any such thing – Gabriel piped up again.

"Oh Deano, you _might_ wanna start making your way to the bathroom. Those laxatives I spiked your coffee with are probably gonna start working their magic any time now. Consider this my way of saying the truce is off."

**~*~ FIN ~*~**


End file.
